The word relationship is built on the root: relate. So a relationship is based up how we relate to others. When you build relationships do you relate to the other person or do you relate to yourself while talking to another person? You can't meet someone where they are when you don't relate to them for who they are. How do expect to sell them, support them, lead them or love them when you aren't even talking to them? Stop talking to yourself. Build a relationship instead. It will … [Read more...]
How to stop finishing last
August 18, 2011 by
Nice is a four letter word. When someone tells me I'm nice, I'm doing something wrong. I'm not saying something that needs to be said. Or I'm being a door mat and getting walked on. I don't want to be a nice guy. I'd rather be a good guy. Nice is not a saving grace. Good is. People seen as highly disagreeable make nearly $10,000 more per year than those seen as highly agreeable. Does that mean you need to become an ass to make more money? No. It means you need to start adding … [Read more...]
Are you supposed to be here?
August 17, 2011 by
One of my favorite movies is Clerks. It's clever, raw and funny. There are two lead characters. One writes his own rules for reality. The other allows reality's rules to be written for him. The second guy, Dante, keeps muttering "I'm not even supposed to here." through the movie. He's torn between what he wants to do and what he feels he's supposed to do. I am most miserable when I think in 'Supposed to' "I'm supposed to get a merit increase." "They're supposed to refill my drink." … [Read more...]
Remembering a friend
August 6, 2011 by
I lost a friend today. I walked in to the gym this afternoon. A placard was standing there. It had his picture in it. It was him. He lost a battle with cancer. He'd fought for 3 years. I met him once, 3 years ago. He came to my wedding. I don't remember saying more than 5 words to him. I remember his face. It shone with joy and kindness. I was planning on writing about the frustration, anger and disappointment we create for ourselves when we live in … [Read more...]
Redefine accountability
August 3, 2011 by
Early in our marriage, Jen told me that she wanted the truth about everything. I'd give her the truth. She'd get angry and react. I'd stop giving the truth. She'd get angry and react. I told her that if she wanted me to be committed to revealing the truth, I needed her to be committed to not giving a negative reaction. I'm human. I will take the path of least resistance. My wife being pissed at me is not that path. Lying is. An account is defined as a report or description of an … [Read more...]
Live for what’s at stake
August 2, 2011 by
I love steak. I wouldn't know I loved it if I hadn't ever smelled or tasted a steak. I wouldn't love steak because I wouldn't know steak. Jen was telling me about a girl she's friendly with. The friend comes off as aloof and distant. Jen's learning that the girl thinks that people won't want to talk to her if she talks. So she doesn't talk. People think she's aloof and distant. They don't talk to her. She gets what she expects. She doesn't get what she wants or needs. I'm that … [Read more...]
How to build more powerful relationships.
July 28, 2011 by
Relationships. I read a lot about relationships. Apparently, they're important. In sales, people prefer to buy from those they trust. In leadership, people prefer to follow those they trust. Trust requires a relationship. The root of the word relationship is relate. The word 'relate' comes from a word that means "to bring". Are you bringing yourself to your relationships? Relationships are built on the cornerstone of revelation. We relate to what's revealed. The more that is … [Read more...]
