Are You In Danger of Being Understood?

"I don't feel safe," Izzy said. The court appointed agent looked around and told her, "This looks like a pretty safe place to me." Izzy was at her mom's house.  She's at the beginning of a court negotiated recovery like what Tiger Woods is using to clear his record.   Izzy is working through addiction issues.  Her family is working through their issues with her addiction. Safe did not mean safe.  It meant understood -- or not judged.   The problem with being an addict  is that your behaviors … [Read more...]

Can You Get Better By Grace?

T The blood drained from my face.  I felt ashamed. I thought she was texting.   I snarled, "Is that related to what we're working on now?"   Michelle looked up.  Taken aback and off balance, she replied , "I'm taking notes on what you're saying so I can remember later.  I didn't want to take down the presentation I'm projecting to take notes."   I apologized. Michelle said, "It's okay."   "No, it's not," I replied.   I apologized again.   "It's fine."   Again, I said, "No, it's not."   … [Read more...]

You Think You’re Present Until This Happens

Embed from Getty Images I start each day with a thimble full of patience.  The thimble was empty. We decided the day would be TV free for the girls - we have twin 5 year olds.   Instead we'd listen to music, sort out the Legos and the playroom and review language and letters.   The kids were good all day.   Yes, they fought with each other from time to time.  Other than the occasional scream or whine, they were good.  But the sounds never stopped.  I learned how much we've relied … [Read more...]

Who Cares About What You Do?

  It doesn't matter what you do. It matters what you do does. It matters what the impact of what you do has on your Customer, client, friend, son, mother or husband.  The more impact, the better (Hopefully, that impact is positive). You say, "I talk to my wife 6 times a day. I'm a good husband." Great! Good for you. What's the impact? Maybe she wants you to leave her alone. Maybe you're driving her freakin' bonkers. It's not about what you do. It's about what is create by what you … [Read more...]

4 Types of People, 2 Get Things Done – Which are you?

  There were two girls climbing concrete ramps that run along the side of a set of  stairs.  They were 7 to 10 years old.  One asks the mom to join her.   The mom said,   "No, that's for children." Doing silly things that might be a little dangerous, fun and/or make you stand out as a fool is for children?  What's for adults?   Being serious, fitting in, avoiding danger, risk or fun? I battle the urge to control my kids.  I try not to tell them not to do things.  Constantly, I see … [Read more...]

Tis the Season

Tis the season to ask big questions.... The depth of winter is upon us.  The pendulum swings toward new life for the next 6 months. What new life will be born in you?   What new life will you birth into this world?   What fear will you face down?   What wrong will you forgive?   What unjustice will you stand up to?  What life giving words or actions will you take toward a friend, an enemy, a stranger, a neighbor? These are life or death questions.   Life or death answers, too. Which … [Read more...]

How Tired Are You, Really? 3 ways to know

  On any given day of the week the alarm goes off.  The alarm is either my phone or my kids.  The first thought that floats on the cloudy surface of my mind is, "I'm so tired.  I need a break".  I haven't even started.  Yet I need a break already? I go to the gym three days of the week.  It's a group workout.  I sign-up in advance.   I groan when the alarm goes off.  Then I roll out of bed.  I have to be somewhere.  Class starts at 6am.  After my first set, I'm fired up.  I get … [Read more...]

The Number 1 Reason You’ll Go Off Track

I headed for the airport. I kicked myself in the ass as I went. I didn't accomplish what I intended to at the conference. There were several people I intended on connecting with. Relationships I wanted to build. I didn't connect with any of them. A wasted trip. I could have put time on calendars, setup appointments. I could have written specific goals before going. I didn't. I just showed up. The conference had a set agenda that took two full days.   No room for my plans. Without setting my own … [Read more...]

The Key To Going From Try to Do

  Give someone 24 choices of jam... They'll  taste a lot of them.  They'll enjoy them. More often than not, they won't commit to them. They don't buy.   6 choices of jam and the commitment rate jumps.  Many more buy with fewer choices We've bought into the lie that choice equals freedom. A diner offers a 12 page menu.  You can choose from Hungarian goulash to spanikopitas to bagels and lox to burgers.  It takes long to decide and you're likely to second guess your choice - - - … [Read more...]

Are you too busy? Ask these 4 questions.

  Steve asked his son, Stone, if he wanted to go and do something together.  Stone said, "I can't.  I'm busy."   Steve went on about his business.  Stone did, too.  An opportunity to connect lost. We're all too busy.  We all have a reason to keep doing what we're doing.  The work in progress is uninterruptable.   Our tendency is to assume that what we're doing now --- no matter what it is --- is too important to stop. Responding to e-mail.  Creating a Powerpoint deck.   Taking a … [Read more...]