Who are you to decide?

  "She's not interested," is what I thought to myself. I use my calendar for a to do list.  If something doesn't get done, I just drag it to another day.  I looked over calls I didn't make yesterday, dragging them to new time slots.  I picked this idea up from Peter Bregman.  I was setting up my calendar for the day.  I didn't want to move this call to another day.  I wanted to leave it behind.  I made the decision for her. My stomach sank the moment the thought, "She's not … [Read more...]

Ask, Don’t Tell?

  My friend's team was filled with some ridiculously smart people.  They were smart with technology. They just weren't people smart.  He was telling me about the challenges they had working together. I had lunch with another friend a couple of months ago.  He told me how he had learned to make people be part of the plan.  The people make the plan happen.  They might be inconvenient to work with.  But nothing happens with out them. The team with the smart people struggle mightily … [Read more...]

How much is pain worth?

  He said, "You know how we have to protect the foundation.  Sometime we have to be aggressive."  I was talking to a friend I used to work with.  He worked on a team that had an us vs. them mentality.  It created issues sometimes. They didn't always ask the questions they needed answered when they're customers approached them with a project.  Then their customer would surprise them with a last minute requirement ... one that might have been revealed with the questions that didn't get … [Read more...]

How to have your cake and eat it, too.

I watched the 4 year old boy try to get entire cake from mom.  Like a good mother, she does not allow the 4 year old to have the whole cake.  She offers a bite.  He refuses it.  He wants the entire thing. Think big.  Push boundaries.  Be bold.  Be unreasonable about what you want and what you're willing to do get it. Start by taking a step.  Take the first bite that's there for you.  Then work to get the next one.  You'll get your whole cake if you push hard enough.  It will just take … [Read more...]

How are you making it easier?

I'm beating this horse this week. The girls stopped eating.  We found out their bottles flow rating was too low.  Babies won't work too hard to eat.  They'd rather not eat ... then drive their parent crazy as the scream because they're hungry. We bought them new nipples.  They make it much easier for the girls to eat.  They started eating more than before and 3 times faster. It's easy to get caught up in make the tool or the process 'perfect.'  If it makes people work too hard, they … [Read more...]

What why are you giving?

  I learned recently that babies won't work too hard to eat.  They'll stop eating if their nipple makes them work to get the milk.  We learned this because our girls stopped eating a few weeks ago.  We bought new nipples with higher flow.  They ate faster than ever. Babies don't know that food is worth something.  So they won't work too hard for it.  Show your team why it's worth doing what you're asking to do. Give them a big why.  Or they might just act like babies. … [Read more...]

What’s your nature?

  The girls stopped eating most of their bottles a few weeks ago.  It was like they were on strike.  We asked around and googled for insight.  We learned something. We were using the wrong nipples.  You can buy baby bottle nipples with different flow rates.  You give higher flow rated nipples as the babies grow. Babies would rather not eat than work too hard to eat.  They're not consciously choosing.  They don't have that capability.  It's just in their nature.  They'll under … [Read more...]

What will you give?

    Will you give yourself permission to be uncomfortable today? Will you give yourself permission to be more than who you were yesterday? Will you give yourself permission to dig a hole for you to get out of tomorrow? Will you give yourself permission to seek that spark of an idea? Will you give yourself permission put your ideas together? Will you give yourself permission to reveal your ideas to the world? Will you give yourself permission to ignore … [Read more...]

What do you think I should do?

  What do you think I should do?  This is the question I've asked too many times (I still do).  Sometimes I didn't ask - but I let people answer for me anyway.  We ask this thinking that it will help us when we're trying to decide.  It usually won't. We might think we're asking to get a new idea or perspective.  But usually, you get an old idea or perspective.   We might think we're asking this to receive support and validation.  Often we receive neither.  This is the question you … [Read more...]

How do you win the battle of will?

I love feeding my girls.  They're 7 months old.  They don't know what they're doing.  It's a socio-science experiment.  What will they like?  What will they hate?  Will they clamp their mouth shut?  Will Ellie like one thing and Evie another? Jen and I treat every bite like it's fun and tasty.  "Mmmmmm", "Yummmyyyyy", "Yaaaaaaay".   We smile.  We pretend like we're chewing and swallowing. I learned quickly that it's not about them eating the food.  It's about enjoying the experience of … [Read more...]