Are you in a compromised position?

CompromisedThe offer came it.  It was low. They asked for thousands in concessions on top of the low offer. I sent a counter. They held their ground. A few days later, they weakened and offered a counter. They didn’t offer enough.  It wouldn’t have been a compromise. I would have been compromised.

A week or so later another offer came in. It was low. They asked for thousands in concessions. I sent a counter. They responded promptly. They offered more than what I asked in my counter. They asked for another concession, too. With each step of the negotiation we each gave something in return for what we were getting. We ended with a compromise and a signed contract.

When Jennifer and I got married I wanted to sell her house and buy another. She didn’t. I’ve had more temper tantrums about this house than anything else in our time together. I get angry with myself for backing down. The thing that eats me up more than anything else is that I didn’t stand up for my convictions. I didn’t compromise. I backed down. I was compromised.

Compromise is tricky. It is only effective in the long run if both sides give something meaningful in exchange for what they’re getting. It doesn’t mean that you have to happy about giving up what you’re giving up. It just means you need to get something you value in return. Otherwise, it’s not compromise, it’s selling out.

An aircraft with a damaged fuselage has its structural integrity compromised.  No one trusts a plane that’s had it’s integrity compromised.

We don’t trust ourselves when we allow ourselves to be compromised. Others trust us less, too.  We do trust ourselves when we compromise, getting something we value for what we give up. Others trust us more, too.  They know they can rely on us to stand true.  They see they can trust our structural integrity … we won’t crumple as we experience the stress and strain of life and business.

Are you the type of person who gives more up to the deal to make it happen?  You’re too willing to lower your price?  You’re too willing to work late again?  You’re too willing to clean your kids room?

What are you afraid of?   Losing the deal?  Losing your job?  Losing your kids love?

Each time you give too much without receiving value in return you lose yourself.   There’s less of you to pay, there’s less of you to hire, there’s less of you for your kid’s to love.  Your integrity is compromised.  Eventually, your fuselage will crack.  And you’ll be grounded.

Get more out of your life in business, in work, in family.  Stop compromising yourself and start compromising.  Or you will be compromised.

Refusing to give anything leaves us compromised, too.  Wings on airplanes stay attached to the aircraft because they have give.  They flex.  When the wings are completely rigid, they tear off completely.  The entire plane is compromised.

What do you need start asking for to go from compromised to compromise?

What can you give so you can take?  What can you take so you can give?

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