We are all in sales. Whether it's selling our idea of a great vacation to our wife or selling a Ford Pinto to a bizarre classic car enthusiast. We are all buying something, too. It can be your 3 year old's proposal to have a cookie before dinner or the ill-advised, 3,000 calorie loaded potato skins at Hooligans. Qualifying is the key to make the most of our time (and effort) for selling and buying. A key goal is to get to 'No' quickly. So you can know whether the prospect … [Read more...]
4 Reasons To Kiss When You’re Angry
September 24, 2012 by
Jen told me about a friend who hadn't kissed her husband in 4 days. They were angry with each other. That seemed odd to me. It seemed like they were dooming themselves to fail. It's Easy to Stay Angry. It's Hard to Move Forward. It's easy to get angry with someone. It's easy to embrace our anger. And it's easy to become justified and obsess about how we're right and they're wrong. It's hard to get past it if being angry is what you focus on. There are so many people and … [Read more...]
What would you say?
July 27, 2012 by
"Well, what I would say is..." I caught myself. I groaned quietly. I thought to myself, what's it mean to say, "What I would say is..."? Of course you would say it. You're saying it! Why do we add it? Are we weakening what we're about to say because we don't want to commit? Are we showing deference or sensitivity to our listener? Are we avoiding conflict? "I'm not really saying this... but if I were to say something, this is what I'd say." I stopped. I … [Read more...]
Is it about time?
June 21, 2012 by
I left the house this morning at 6:30am. 2 hours earlier than usual. I usually help with feeding, changing, playing with the girls. This morning, I had a 7 am meeting. I didn't even get to say good morning to the girls. And Jen had to manage the juggling act of caring and feeding on her own. At 6pm the phone rang. I answered. It didn't sound good. I heard Jen talking. Screaming babies drowned what she was saying. Neither girl would eat. Both were crying. Jen was … [Read more...]
Ask, Don’t Tell?
June 12, 2012 by
My friend's team was filled with some ridiculously smart people. They were smart with technology. They just weren't people smart. He was telling me about the challenges they had working together. I had lunch with another friend a couple of months ago. He told me how he had learned to make people be part of the plan. The people make the plan happen. They might be inconvenient to work with. But nothing happens with out them. The team with the smart people struggle mightily … [Read more...]
How much is pain worth?
June 11, 2012 by
He said, "You know how we have to protect the foundation. Sometime we have to be aggressive." I was talking to a friend I used to work with. He worked on a team that had an us vs. them mentality. It created issues sometimes. They didn't always ask the questions they needed answered when they're customers approached them with a project. Then their customer would surprise them with a last minute requirement ... one that might have been revealed with the questions that didn't get … [Read more...]
The biggest secret to time management
March 19, 2012 by
A few months ago, I tried to fit left over soup in a container. Jen told me that it wouldn't fit. I insisted it would. I cleaned up soup that overflowed from the counter. She gave me "that look." Once again, I had tried to fit too much in the container. Time Management is a multi-million industry. People spend more time learning how manage time than they spend practicing how to manage themselves. Time is a fixed container. It is out of your control. You can't slow … [Read more...]
When do you strike?
December 23, 2011 by
The thought struck me. It came out of nowhere. "This guy had a huge impact on my life, I should write him a note." I had a decision to make at that point ... Click "Compose New" and shoot the thought and sentiment his way. Find some stationary and write it out then and there. Or put it on a to do list. I clicked "Compose New" I wrote a two line email. I told him that I appreciated his encouragement, support and inspiration. He really played a key role in a wide range of my life. … [Read more...]
Where’s your resume?
September 21, 2011 by
I work with people to help them manage change. When things go well, they produce results that they weren't able to produce on their own. This is a common outcome. I speak to many clients who want to leave their job. Their obstacle: Their resume isn't ready. They'll wallow in misery rather than write their resume. Meanwhile they deliver "Less than" results for the people they work for. This may last weeks, months or years. Disengagement is contagious. It needs to … [Read more...]
