Jen told me about a friend who hadn't kissed her husband in 4 days. They were angry with each other. That seemed odd to me. It seemed like they were dooming themselves to fail. It's Easy to Stay Angry. It's Hard to Move Forward. It's easy to get angry with someone. It's easy to embrace our anger. And it's easy to become justified and obsess about how we're right and they're wrong. It's hard to get past it if being angry is what you focus on. There are so many people and … [Read more...]
How amazing is your grace?
January 24, 2012 by
Familiarity breeds contempt. Spend more time with someone and you'll get jaded. You'll take things for granted, and get angry over smaller things. Hot buttons will emerge. They'll be easier to punch as time goes on. This is probably why marriage can be so hard. It's easier to forgive the waitress who screwed up your food order than it is the wife who forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste ... again. Grace doesn't dwell well in a world of presumed outcomes. We force grace out of … [Read more...]
What are you waiting for?
September 9, 2011 by
Nothing can make you happy! This is a very positive and hopeful statement. Nothing can make you happy. It's possible. If you let it be. Most of us are waiting for someone or something to make us happy. I'll be happy when I get the raise, the business is profitable, my marriage is fun, my kids go to school, I get a promotion, I get married, I get a new car, we get the bigger house, I get pregnant, I lose 10 lbs ... We make being happy conditional upon receiving something else. How … [Read more...]
Are you on the right path?
August 31, 2011 by
I got in my car. My intuition told me to go to the Pearl Cup. The one downtown. I've never been there. Downtown has no parking. I begrudged to my intuition, "There won't be parking. I don't want to." I drove to the Downtown Pearl Cup. I figured I was supposed to meet someone. A mysterious crossing of paths. I arrived. I circled the block. Then peered in. There was nobody inside. I came to a stop when my wife called. My intuition chimed in when I was on the phone. "Drive … [Read more...]
Out through the In Door
August 12, 2011 by
I was down in a depressive funk for the last few weeks. It tends to happen each year as approach my birthday. This year wasn't an exception. I was walking in the morning. Walking in the sunlight is a prescription for the funk. As I walked I prayed. I was asking for a way out. I received an answer. "Stop looking for a way out. Look for a way in." Looking for a way out isn't about finding something new. It's about leaving something old. You're not going anywhere. You're … [Read more...]
Redefine accountability
August 3, 2011 by
Early in our marriage, Jen told me that she wanted the truth about everything. I'd give her the truth. She'd get angry and react. I'd stop giving the truth. She'd get angry and react. I told her that if she wanted me to be committed to revealing the truth, I needed her to be committed to not giving a negative reaction. I'm human. I will take the path of least resistance. My wife being pissed at me is not that path. Lying is. An account is defined as a report or description of an … [Read more...]
How to build more powerful relationships.
July 28, 2011 by
Relationships. I read a lot about relationships. Apparently, they're important. In sales, people prefer to buy from those they trust. In leadership, people prefer to follow those they trust. Trust requires a relationship. The root of the word relationship is relate. The word 'relate' comes from a word that means "to bring". Are you bringing yourself to your relationships? Relationships are built on the cornerstone of revelation. We relate to what's revealed. The more that is … [Read more...]
