What do you NOT have to do?

I was buzzing around the house completing one task after another.  My goal?  Order.  The arrival of the twins was met by an intense need for order.  Some could call it OCD. I was working in double time.  And I am doing things I don't want to do.  I like order.  I don't like doing the things that create it.  So these are things I have to do.  I need the order to have my mind clear to produce.  I'd rather watch the Colbert Report.  Steve Colbert will take me further from what I need. I get … [Read more...]

What do you HAVE to do?

A friend of mine had a rough week recently.  Here was the week in no particular order: Lost parent Made arrangements for funeral Drove 4+ hours to the funeral Went through/packed the parent's things Drove 4+ hours back Co-conducted a 4 day intensive seminar Visited with clients Decorated/furnished new business offices Shut down/moved her old business office That's a hell of week.  I'm sure there are details I missed. I had dinner and beer with them last night.  At some … [Read more...]

Are you going broke?

I was talking with friend last night.  She talked about how it's hard to keep priorities this time of year (Christmas time).   She's busy going to 47 Christmas parties, buying gifts, spending time with friends, and somewhere in there ... she works.   We talked about weight gain, staying on budget, and sticking to goals.  They're all related. Have you gained 5, 10, 15 lbs lately?  Check your finances.  When your weight goes up, you're probably spending more money.  Check your work, too.  If … [Read more...]

Are you tipping enough?

Jen and I met our twins two months ago.  Our priorities were redefined.  Things like showering, blow drying of hair, eating food while hot fell to the bottom of the list.  Feeding babies, remembering to eat at all, finding 2-3 hours to sleep shot to the top of the list. The babies are kicking our asses.  Feeding two newborns at the same time is one of the most exhausting things I've done in my life.  I go from energetic and enthusiastic to exhausted and exasperated in a matter of … [Read more...]

Thank, God. I am home.

I walked in the door.  I said, "I'm home, Cheech (Chi-chi's one of our dogs)."    A rush of emotion swept through me.  "Thank God, I'm home." I've struggled with my house being my home since I moved here.  It was Jen's house before we met.  There's a lot of history in the house.  There's a lot of ego involve in my fighting making this house my home.  I create meaning that doesn't have to be there that keeps me away. A friend was telling me about the Samurai.  They are not allowed to … [Read more...]

Setting the mood

Elli awoke screaming.  Again.  It was clear she did not know that it was night time.  We decided to set the mood. The lights dimmed throughout the house the next day at 7pm.  TV off.  Laptops closed.  Phones away.  Faded lights and lullabies.  Babies and bottles.  The girls fed.  We laid them down.  They slept.  They got it.   We  crafted the peaceful, nocturnal environment.  They went with the mood. So did we.  Jen and I had time to connect.  The house was more peaceful. I walked … [Read more...]

Winning the War

The final piece of paper left my hand.  My signature in place.  The condo was sold.  It was on the market over two years.  We got beaten on price and concessions.  I played this hand poorly.  We did not win this battle. I bought the condo for the wrong reasons.  It was what I thought I was supposed to do.  I bought into the dogma that renting is bad, owning is good.   Owning would make me an adult, I thought.  I bought. My decade of ambition had begun.  The ambition was to be good enough. … [Read more...]

Double the trouble

  The Warheit Twins joined us last week.  Today they are 1 week old.  Sleep has been at a premium.  Jen and I are adapting. We talked with another mom in the waiting room for the babies 48 hour doctor visit.  We talked about when it gets better.  Her observation, "I'm not sure that it gets better.  I think we get better." Shortly after her comment, we realized we were in the wrong doctors office. It's easy to get caught up in waiting for "It" to get better.  When we do that, … [Read more...]

Conceiving the inconceivable

In 10 minutes, I'll be driving my wife to deliver our twins.  I don't have any kids yet.  I can't imagine what it will be like ... other than sleepless for a couple of months.  I don't know what the experience of deliver will be like.  I don't know what it will be like to hold them for the first time.  I don't know the sense of responsibility I will feel when I meet my children. Jen and I launched this baby business around 12 months ago.  We decided to see a doctor to make this happen.  We … [Read more...]

Are you in a compromised position?

The offer came it.  It was low. They asked for thousands in concessions on top of the low offer. I sent a counter. They held their ground. A few days later, they weakened and offered a counter. They didn't offer enough.  It wouldn't have been a compromise. I would have been compromised. A week or so later another offer came in. It was low. They asked for thousands in concessions. I sent a counter. They responded promptly. They offered more than what I asked in my counter. They asked for … [Read more...]