4 Reasons To Kiss When You’re Angry

  Jen told me about a friend who hadn't kissed her husband in 4 days.  They were angry with each other.  That seemed odd to me.  It seemed like they were dooming themselves to fail. It's Easy to Stay Angry.  It's Hard to Move Forward. It's easy to get angry with someone.  It's easy to embrace our anger.  And it's easy to become justified and obsess about how we're right and they're wrong.  It's hard to get past it if being angry is what you focus on. There are so many people and … [Read more...]

The 3 Keys to getting ahead

  He built a successful firm that helps people who are in a jam with the IRS.  He also built a successful water company.  And he's paid his mortgages with rental income for nearly 50 years. I sat across from him.  He finished his lunch -  A homemade sandwich and cheetos.  We talked about what he learned along the way. He said three things: "Show up every day - not just physically, but mentally and emotionally - and committing to make the business just a little bit bigger and … [Read more...]

Are you in the Rabbit Hole?

  Mobile devices.  Text messages.  Email.  Unintentional side conversations.  Web research that turns into an Alice in Wonderland rabbit hole.  It's no wonder it's easy to get lost doing nothing (results) while doing something (activity). It's easier than ever to live walking in circles day after day.  We call each step progress.  Yet the steps lead to nowhere. Then we mount the excuses for why we're not getting anywhere.  Too busy.  Too much to do.  Too tired.  Not enough time. … [Read more...]

Is it time to wake-up or go to sleep?

  I wandered the kitchen lethargically.   My face was long.  Jen asked what was wrong.  "I'm exhausted." It was dinner time.  I was starving and didn't feel like cooking.  I avoided starting a meal for 10 minutes as I wallowed in my tiredness and "don't wanna-ness." Two hours later, Jen said she was exhausted and ready for bed.  I told her I was wide awake.  She was perplexed, "Two hours ago, you were telling me how tired you were."  I said, "I was tired.  I woke-up when I cooked … [Read more...]

What would you say?

  "Well,  what I would  say is..."  I caught myself.  I groaned quietly. I thought to myself, what's it mean to say, "What I would say is..."?    Of course you would say it. You're saying it!  Why do we add it? Are we weakening what we're about to say because we don't want to commit?  Are we showing deference or sensitivity to our listener?   Are we avoiding conflict? "I'm not really saying this... but if I were to say something,  this is what I'd  say."   I stopped.  I … [Read more...]

Do you want to be “One and done”?

I plugged the cable in.  No sound.  Nothing.  Then I tried another cable.  Again.  Nothing. Thirty people were sitting around.  Waiting.  I took someone else's guitar.  Plugged it in.  It worked. I threw the strap around my neck.  And stepped up to the microphone.  3 and half minutes flew by in the blink of an eternity. I got through the song.  Barely.  I was planning on singing two.  I changed my mind.  I strummed the last chord.  Looked at the MC.  And said, "That's good enough. … [Read more...]

Out of the eyes of babes

  Jen walked out of the girl's room.  Ellie in her arms.  She just woke up.  Her eyes swollen with sleep.  I sat on the couch, typing away. Ellie looked at me for a glance.  Then she stared at the laptop.  It's a reflex.  If we're looking at our phones, the girls look at our phones.  TVs on, same thing. We're drawn to the glow of technology.  Hypnotized.  Flashing lights.  Distraction.  Detachment.  It's our innate state. We think we're in control.  We think we're choosing where … [Read more...]

Acting a part

  Actors spend hours preparing.  Learning lines.  Committing to the words until they own them.  Knowing their blocking (where they stand and when).  They prepare for the risk.  The big moment.   When they step on stage.  When they reveal themselves in real time.  In front of many, hopefully.  Trying to break a leg. Actors seek auditions.  They look for opportunities to show their talent.  They race rejection, frequently.  When they get the part they invest their blood, spirit and soul … [Read more...]

Do you prefer it fast or slow?

To ask or not to ask? The prospect you won't call because she might reject you?  You're rejecting them already with your avoidance.    The girl you won't ask out.  The book you won't start.  The investor you won't pitch. Etc. Etc. Etc. One rejection is explicit and fast.  The other is quiet and slow. One frees you to move on to what's next.  The other keeps you circling a drain. Do you prefer it fast or slow? Related articles 4 Reasons You Can't Execute(inc.com) Do … [Read more...]

What are you avoiding?

I was reading the article.  I wanted to stop.  I was afraid.  What if they reveal a theory I've been working on but haven't released to the world yet.   I was afraid of being disappointed.  In myself, for not getting the idea out soon enough.  Avoiding the article wouldn't help though. If my idea was the same, I'd know someone else thought of it.  I can shift directions with the idea.  I can build on to what's already there.  That's all the world of knowledge is any way.  At some point … [Read more...]