Is it time for a little perspective?

The ladies read their visions to the person sitting next to them.  We talked about the visions they wrote and spoke.  One of the women said that she had a hard time believing that she could make her vision a reality.   I asked the group a question.  Who heard a vision that they think the person reading it could make happen?  Every hand shot up. They were all afraid.  They didn't think they could do what they dreamed. They were all confident that the person next to them could do it. What … [Read more...]

The habit habit

I got out of the habit of good habits. My Mom visited me a few weeks ago.  The following week I celebrated a birthday over the course of a few days.   Then we welcomed a new nephew to our family.   We spent time in the hospital and visiting.   I loved seeing my Mom.  I had a great time for my birthday.  It was wonderful spending time with family to celebrate the nephew.   I changed my routine that week.  I adapted it to the circumstances. I had been working out 6 days/week.  I lost 10 lbs. … [Read more...]

What bed are you sleeping in?

I got an email from a friend a few weeks ago.  Leslie was looking for advice.  She was trying to make a decision.   The looming fear behind the decision was "What if it doesn't work or if I don't like it?"   She didn't want to make a bed or lay in one ... because it might be the right one. Goldie Locks broke into a bear's house and tried 3 different bowls of porridge, 3 different size chairs and 3 different beds before she found the ones that were just right for her. What are you willing … [Read more...]

Are you a champion?

I hear bad advice a lot.  The most common I people tell each other is "You should just do 'insert action'." You don't ask your infant to walk when they can't even crawl.   Why do we ask adults to do things that they haven't demonstrated an ability to do?  Just because you know how to walk doesn't mean the person you're trying help does.  Telling them to walk produces one thing.  Frustration.  You're frustrated with them for not listening.  They're frustrated with themselves for being stuck or … [Read more...]

Is it time for a new standard?

I screamed out of frustration.  I hit another ball into the net.  I was taking group lessons after not playing for 10 years.  I expected myself to be the second coming of Roger Federer.   The tennis coach came over.  He scolded me.  He said, "You don't have a right to get frustrated with how you're playing.   You haven't practiced enough to expect yourself to do consistently well." I expect more from myself than I rightfully should.  I'm not Wolfgang Puck.  I don't have an professional … [Read more...]

What if you don’t want to?

There will times that you don't want to work.  There will be times that you don't want to smile.  There are times you don't want to be friendly.  There will be times when you don't want to deliver. Do it anyway. It doesn't have to be perfect.  I just has to be done. … [Read more...]

Is your hole deep enough?

Rich told me he had no room for error. He has no money in the bank. If the business he bought doesn't turn around - quickly - his family doesn't eat. Rich is motivated. He's in a pretty deep hole. Joe just had to sell one of his businesses. He wasn't investing in it.  The business got pretty run down ... Like an old house that hasn't been maintained. Joe is on the tail end of his business life.  He's got the money he needs to finish this ride called life.  Joe doesn't have a very deep hole.   … [Read more...]

How much are you like a lab rat?

I had a theory 6-7 years ago. I still do. The theory is that we compulsively text message, instant message and Facebook (FB wasn't around at the time for adults)because they tap into our inner lab rat. These communication tools exploit our inner pleasure/reward system. With each ding, buzz or Like, we get a little burst of dopamine. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter released in response to things like cocaine, crack, sex, deep laughter, etc. Each response we received provides validation. … [Read more...]

Dictate the future

I asked the group to close their eyes.  I suggested they think about a day in the future (You can do this, too).  I guided them with some questions. "Go six months out.  Create a picture as vivid and real as possible.  What goals have you achieved?  What big wins are you celebrating?  What is happening on this day 6 months out that isn't happening today? What clients are you talking to?  What deals have you closed?  What have you created?  What's your business model?  What's happening with … [Read more...]

Who do you relate to?

The word relationship is built on the root:  relate.  So a relationship is based up how we relate to others. When you build relationships do you relate to the other person or do you relate to yourself while talking to another person? You can't meet someone where they are when you don't relate to them for who they are.   How do expect to sell them, support them, lead them or love them when you aren't even talking to them? Stop talking to yourself.   Build a relationship instead.  It will … [Read more...]