Are you in a compromised position?

The offer came it.  It was low. They asked for thousands in concessions on top of the low offer. I sent a counter. They held their ground. A few days later, they weakened and offered a counter. They didn't offer enough.  It wouldn't have been a compromise. I would have been compromised. A week or so later another offer came in. It was low. They asked for thousands in concessions. I sent a counter. They responded promptly. They offered more than what I asked in my counter. They asked for … [Read more...]

What bubble will burst next?

Bubble's burst. We've seen the real estate bubble, the internet bubble, the energy bubble, and whatever other bubbles. They over inflated until, under the the value they promised was very different than the actual value provided.  Reality reared it's ugly head.  The bubbles burst under the pressure that came from reality weighing in. It's easy and cheap to produce credibility in social media world.  Testimonials, reviews, followers ... all can be bought.   Go on Fiverr.com. You'll find … [Read more...]

Are you a champion?

I hear bad advice a lot.  The most common I people tell each other is "You should just do 'insert action'." You don't ask your infant to walk when they can't even crawl.   Why do we ask adults to do things that they haven't demonstrated an ability to do?  Just because you know how to walk doesn't mean the person you're trying help does.  Telling them to walk produces one thing.  Frustration.  You're frustrated with them for not listening.  They're frustrated with themselves for being stuck or … [Read more...]

Are you on the right path?

I got in my car.  My intuition told me to go to the Pearl Cup.  The one downtown.  I've never been there.  Downtown has no parking.  I begrudged to my intuition, "There won't be parking.  I don't want to." I drove to the Downtown Pearl Cup.  I figured I was supposed to meet someone.  A mysterious crossing of paths.  I arrived.  I circled the block.  Then peered in.  There was nobody inside. I came to a stop when my wife called.  My intuition chimed in when I was on the phone.  "Drive … [Read more...]

How much are you like a lab rat?

I had a theory 6-7 years ago. I still do. The theory is that we compulsively text message, instant message and Facebook (FB wasn't around at the time for adults)because they tap into our inner lab rat. These communication tools exploit our inner pleasure/reward system. With each ding, buzz or Like, we get a little burst of dopamine. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter released in response to things like cocaine, crack, sex, deep laughter, etc. Each response we received provides validation. … [Read more...]

Who do you relate to?

The word relationship is built on the root:  relate.  So a relationship is based up how we relate to others. When you build relationships do you relate to the other person or do you relate to yourself while talking to another person? You can't meet someone where they are when you don't relate to them for who they are.   How do expect to sell them, support them, lead them or love them when you aren't even talking to them? Stop talking to yourself.   Build a relationship instead.  It will … [Read more...]

You can have an impact. Will you?

I met Marshall last week.  I was working behind the coffee bar at church.  Out of the busyness of barista-ing, I heard Marshall say, "Excuse me, sir.  I had an accident."  I stopped what I was doing.  I came out from the bar.  Marshall spilled some coffee.  It wasn't a big deal.  Not much of a mess.  He wanted to clean up his own mess.  I saw embarrassment on his face.  We cleaned up his mess together. I sat Marshall in a chair in our common area.  He sat with me in a half sweated through … [Read more...]

Life is beautiful

My friend Mike invited me to play bocce ball.   It was a blast.  It was relaxing.  It was fun.  It was competitive.  After we played we were emailing about how enjoyable it was.  He had this to say. "Playing bocce with the Italians is pretty symbolic of life to me.  You spend your life trying to get as close to a goal as you can… sometimes you get close and other times something in life comes along and knocks you away from your target and you have to refocus and find a new strategy… or … [Read more...]

Where do you belong?

I played bocce ball for the first time last week.  It's hosted by the Italian Club of Dallas (Yes, there is one!).  It was a blast.  I learned a lot about life that night. We played at a country club.  Somehow someone convinced a country club in Texas to convert their clay tennis courts to bocce ball courts.  That's influence! We were playing with one of the members of the club.  At some point, he asked if I was a member.  I said no.  He said, "We need to change that." So often we ask … [Read more...]

Remembering a friend

    I lost a friend today.  I walked in to the gym this afternoon.  A placard was standing there.  It had his picture in it.  It  was him.  He lost a battle with cancer.  He'd fought for 3 years. I met him once, 3 years ago.  He came to my wedding.  I don't remember saying more than 5 words to him.   I remember his face.  It shone with joy and kindness. I was planning on writing about the frustration, anger and disappointment we create for ourselves when we live in … [Read more...]