Who are you to decide?

  "She's not interested," is what I thought to myself. I use my calendar for a to do list.  If something doesn't get done, I just drag it to another day.  I looked over calls I didn't make yesterday, dragging them to new time slots.  I picked this idea up from Peter Bregman.  I was setting up my calendar for the day.  I didn't want to move this call to another day.  I wanted to leave it behind.  I made the decision for her. My stomach sank the moment the thought, "She's not … [Read more...]

Ask, Don’t Tell?

  My friend's team was filled with some ridiculously smart people.  They were smart with technology. They just weren't people smart.  He was telling me about the challenges they had working together. I had lunch with another friend a couple of months ago.  He told me how he had learned to make people be part of the plan.  The people make the plan happen.  They might be inconvenient to work with.  But nothing happens with out them. The team with the smart people struggle mightily … [Read more...]

How much is pain worth?

  He said, "You know how we have to protect the foundation.  Sometime we have to be aggressive."  I was talking to a friend I used to work with.  He worked on a team that had an us vs. them mentality.  It created issues sometimes. They didn't always ask the questions they needed answered when they're customers approached them with a project.  Then their customer would surprise them with a last minute requirement ... one that might have been revealed with the questions that didn't get … [Read more...]

Are you putting the pieces of the puzzle together?

  Jen was frustrated with me.  We were talking about something that was on going for two months.  I was giving her bits and pieces.  She asked a question.  I'd go back into something I told her about 4 weeks before and talk about that.  She asked another question.  I fast forward to another conversation we had a week after the conversation that I went back into for the previous question she asked.  Then I came back to the present.  Confusing! Pieces of the puzzle were all over the … [Read more...]

Just tell the story

    Jen looked at me frustratedly.  I sighed deeply, exasperated.  We'd been talking for 10 minutes getting nowhere.  She cried out, "This is going all over the place.  Just tell me what happened!"   Another sigh released from me.  I went to the beginning of the story. Two months ago, I drove over a ditch left uncovered by a construction crew.  It was nighttime.  When the car struck the ditch it surprised the shit out of me as felt the front slam thunderously.   The rims on … [Read more...]

Don’t melt away, snowflake

One is the loneliest number that there ever was.  Sometimes I get trapped in my head thinking of the impact I want to have on the world.  I crave a more meaningful and significant life.  Whenever I'm stuck in this place, I am alone.  I don't see myself connected to others. Nobody has ever accomplished anything in this world alone. Any change in the world you admire required someone to work with others (even if indirectly).  They made the invisible idea in their head real to others. A … [Read more...]

The under-used, not so secret way to a life of riches

  I was on my way out the door this morning.  Jen grabbed me.  She took me by my shoulders.  She put me square in front of her.  She looked me dead in the eye.  And started speaking. "Thank you for getting Ellie up this morning and starting to feed her.""Thank you for taking care of Evie.""Thank you for making the bottles.""Thank you for making lunches.""Thank you for putting toothpaste on my toothbrush.""Thank you for filling my perfume bottle."My eyes moistened.  My breathing … [Read more...]

Wish You Were Here

I get lost in the act of wishing. I wish I played tennis more.  I wish I were more extroverted.   I wish I played guitar better.  I wish I did a better job of marketing this blog. I wish those jeans I got a couple of years ago weren't so tight. I wish I were more comfortable (and effective) at networking.  I wish that I wrote (and published) more often.  I wish I were taller.  I wish I called my mom more often.  I wish I didn't have a commute. I wish I had published a book  by now. I wish I … [Read more...]

What Do You Have Time To Do? 4 Questions to Ask Yourself

  We don't seem to have the time to do a lot of things.  Things like exercise, cooking healthily, calling our parents, brothers, sisters and friends, reading great books or magazines, driving without distraction (as we text some ridiculously unimportant message). We do seem to have time to do a lot of other things, though.  Things like Facebook, Twitter, reality TV, e-mail, long showers, visiting newyorkjets.com, miamihurricanes.com, tmz.com or working long hours with no specific … [Read more...]

How amazing is your grace?

Familiarity breeds contempt. Spend more time with someone and you'll get jaded.  You'll  take things for granted, and get angry over smaller things.  Hot buttons will emerge.  They'll be easier to punch as time goes on. This is probably why marriage can be so hard. It's easier to forgive the waitress who screwed up your food order than it is the wife who forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste ... again. Grace doesn't dwell well in a world of presumed outcomes. We force grace out of … [Read more...]