Are you connected enough?

    It seems the more people we connect with the less there is of us to go around.  I start with the default answer of 'No' when a friend asks me to do something.  I check my calendar.  Then I offer a date 3 weeks in the future. Am I free now?   Yes.   But I have a false notion of obligation.  I feel so little control over my time that I hoard the time I can control.  I then squander the time I hoarded instead of spending it wisely ... by saying yes to my friend. It seems we … [Read more...]

Want This Year to Be Easier? Read This.

  We scurried out of the house.  We just scored an hour with Jen's parents watching the girls.  A huge sigh of relief for both of us. It was in the 30s outside.  I said, "Let's walk."  Jen said, "It's too cold.  I'll need to get a hat and gloves if we walk."  I shrugged it off.  We hopped in the car and started driving.   I got to the light.  I realized how silly the objection of getting a hat and gloves was.  Walking 20 feet to get hat and gloves wouldn't have been a … [Read more...]

Messy love

  I like order in my home.  Clutter drives me crazy.  Especially other people's clutter. I'm not great at maintaining a clutter free world.  But I do my best.  Well, that's wrong.  If what I do is my best.  My best sucks.  Let's say I make an effort. I am great at being a hypocrite though.  When the little order that exists in my home is disrupted, my boxers get bunched. Last week, I walked out of the bedroom.  Went past the sleeping girls.  Walked past the guest room.  Then to … [Read more...]

The Courage to Live

The other night I met with a man who a friend who connected me with.  We don't know the 'why' behind our connection yet.  We're figuring that out.  He could become a friend, a mentor, a business opportunity...  We'll see. We enjoyed a 3 hour conversation about business, life, and Spirit.  For most of the night, the conversation was spontaneous and authentic.  We were honest and real with one another. At around the two-hour mark, we started talking about the church that Jen and I started in … [Read more...]

What are you making believe?

  A client turned around his shop's performance.  He reshaped his team.  He got them lined up with his plan and his vision. He did it in under 3 months. I asked him how he did it. "By making it believable." I asked him what he meant by that.  He said, "people need to see before they believe.  We're not where we need to be yet.  I'm what they see". A team won't follow a leader unless the leader believes in where their team is going.  People who lead others successfully make the … [Read more...]

Out of the eyes of babes

  Jen walked out of the girl's room.  Ellie in her arms.  She just woke up.  Her eyes swollen with sleep.  I sat on the couch, typing away. Ellie looked at me for a glance.  Then she stared at the laptop.  It's a reflex.  If we're looking at our phones, the girls look at our phones.  TVs on, same thing. We're drawn to the glow of technology.  Hypnotized.  Flashing lights.  Distraction.  Detachment.  It's our innate state. We think we're in control.  We think we're choosing where … [Read more...]

What are you addicted to?

  "She's getting so big."  A tear welled up in my eye. My girls aren't little babies anymore.  They're turning into toddlers.  With wills and tempers.  They're starting to look like little people.   And I'm sad. I'm a mourner.  I look back and mourn what's passed.  I could look forward and embrace what's coming.  I'm learning to do that.  But undoing decades of looking back takes longer than I'd like. It's hard to create what I want in the world, in my life and in my family when … [Read more...]

Is it about time?

  I left the house this morning at 6:30am.  2 hours earlier than usual.  I usually help with feeding, changing, playing with the girls.  This morning, I had a 7 am meeting.  I didn't even get to say good morning to the girls.  And Jen had to manage the juggling act of caring and feeding on her own. At 6pm the phone rang.  I answered.   It didn't sound good.  I heard Jen talking.  Screaming babies drowned what she was saying. Neither girl would eat.  Both were crying.  Jen was … [Read more...]

Who are you to decide?

  "She's not interested," is what I thought to myself. I use my calendar for a to do list.  If something doesn't get done, I just drag it to another day.  I looked over calls I didn't make yesterday, dragging them to new time slots.  I picked this idea up from Peter Bregman.  I was setting up my calendar for the day.  I didn't want to move this call to another day.  I wanted to leave it behind.  I made the decision for her. My stomach sank the moment the thought, "She's not … [Read more...]

Ask, Don’t Tell?

  My friend's team was filled with some ridiculously smart people.  They were smart with technology. They just weren't people smart.  He was telling me about the challenges they had working together. I had lunch with another friend a couple of months ago.  He told me how he had learned to make people be part of the plan.  The people make the plan happen.  They might be inconvenient to work with.  But nothing happens with out them. The team with the smart people struggle mightily … [Read more...]