This Test Is Pass/Fail. Do You Pass This Test?

I've asked a lot people if they want a more significant and meaningful life.  Every person I ask says 'Yes'. They may be lying.  After all, it's a loaded question.  Who really wants to tell someone, "Eh, I really don't give shit ... I'm good enough."    Or they may be answering from the core of their soul.  Looking at how people live tells me it might be somewhere in between.   Or they just don't know how.  At least not consistently. What about you? How do you qualify yourself?  What … [Read more...]

Can you afford ‘No’?

  Hierarchical leadership is a permission machine.  The machine is primed to respond with "No". People's work becomes figuring out how to override the default response ... moving the machine to "Yes".  And then doing it again.  And again.   Working with the mysterious machine to get permission to move things forward. Managers might exist simply to push at the levers ... trying for the right combination to produce a "Yes".    Other managers might exist simply to increase the volume … [Read more...]

What We Frequent Becomes Our Frequency

  George, a rebel pastor I know talks about how we talk in terms of, "When I have X (Money, House, Car, Spouse) , then I'll do Y (Start a business, go to school, have a baby) and then I'll be happy."    He turns it on its head.  "When I am happy, then I'll do Y, then I will have X." What we frequent becomes our frequency.  A tuning fork vibrates when it is struck by the frequency its tuned to.  We are like adaptive tuning forks.  We vibrate at the frequency of what we are surrounded … [Read more...]

Are you connected enough?

    It seems the more people we connect with the less there is of us to go around.  I start with the default answer of 'No' when a friend asks me to do something.  I check my calendar.  Then I offer a date 3 weeks in the future. Am I free now?   Yes.   But I have a false notion of obligation.  I feel so little control over my time that I hoard the time I can control.  I then squander the time I hoarded instead of spending it wisely ... by saying yes to my friend. It seems we … [Read more...]

A quick way to kick ass

I was late. Again. The bruises on my ass sore from me kicking itagain. If my shower was shorter. If I hasn't taken my timeshaving. If I hadn't hit snooze. I would be there.A word whispered in my ear. "You are here." I was in my car.  Driving.   Alone.  No where else. No matter where you'd rather be - you are here. Fighting that realityis an invitation.  For guilt, frustration and dissatisfaction.I sit at the light. The clock strikes the time I wanted toarrive. The traffic at the next light … [Read more...]

Messy love

  I like order in my home.  Clutter drives me crazy.  Especially other people's clutter. I'm not great at maintaining a clutter free world.  But I do my best.  Well, that's wrong.  If what I do is my best.  My best sucks.  Let's say I make an effort. I am great at being a hypocrite though.  When the little order that exists in my home is disrupted, my boxers get bunched. Last week, I walked out of the bedroom.  Went past the sleeping girls.  Walked past the guest room.  Then to … [Read more...]

Is this the most powerful wealth multiplier?

  It's been a long time since I let my fingers feel the keyboard.  Not including emails, status reports and other organizational pink slime ... my fingers haven't roamed freely in a while. The longer my fingers went without furling words into the world, the more reasons I came with for why they could not do so.  Standard stuff ... not enough time, no space for peaceful thought, not the right time, etc. All the excuses were bullshit.  They always are. Don't believe me - let's … [Read more...]

Are You a Time-aholic?

  Hi.  My name is Eric.  And I'm a time-aholic. I have a time problem.  I abuse time.  Afterwards, I stumble through a time hangover, blacked out wondering what I did for the last few hours. It's easy to let time slip away when you haven't identified how you want to invest it.  It's hard to know how you want to invest it if you don't have investment goals. Our investment goals define how we invest our money.  If we're retiring soon, we might work to preserve what we have with a … [Read more...]

Have you taken this secret vow?

I pulled into traffic on northbound 75.  I felt my phone vibrate as I took my place in a lane.  I reached for my phone.  Looked at the message.  I started responding immediately. Did the text require an immediate response?  No.  Was it worth endangering myself and others?  No.  Was the topic remotely urgent?  No. Then why did I let the distraction take over? A - Because I could.   B- Because the transaction would be immediate.   C- Because rules and consequences don't apply to me.   D- … [Read more...]

4 Reasons To Kiss When You’re Angry

  Jen told me about a friend who hadn't kissed her husband in 4 days.  They were angry with each other.  That seemed odd to me.  It seemed like they were dooming themselves to fail. It's Easy to Stay Angry.  It's Hard to Move Forward. It's easy to get angry with someone.  It's easy to embrace our anger.  And it's easy to become justified and obsess about how we're right and they're wrong.  It's hard to get past it if being angry is what you focus on. There are so many people and … [Read more...]