Is it time for a new standard?

I screamed out of frustration.  I hit another ball into the net.  I was taking group lessons after not playing for 10 years.  I expected myself to be the second coming of Roger Federer.   The tennis coach came over.  He scolded me.  He said, "You don't have a right to get frustrated with how you're playing.   You haven't practiced enough to expect yourself to do consistently well." I expect more from myself than I rightfully should.  I'm not Wolfgang Puck.  I don't have an professional … [Read more...]

Are you on the right path?

I got in my car.  My intuition told me to go to the Pearl Cup.  The one downtown.  I've never been there.  Downtown has no parking.  I begrudged to my intuition, "There won't be parking.  I don't want to." I drove to the Downtown Pearl Cup.  I figured I was supposed to meet someone.  A mysterious crossing of paths.  I arrived.  I circled the block.  Then peered in.  There was nobody inside. I came to a stop when my wife called.  My intuition chimed in when I was on the phone.  "Drive … [Read more...]

What if you don’t want to?

There will times that you don't want to work.  There will be times that you don't want to smile.  There are times you don't want to be friendly.  There will be times when you don't want to deliver. Do it anyway. It doesn't have to be perfect.  I just has to be done. … [Read more...]

Is your hole deep enough?

Rich told me he had no room for error. He has no money in the bank. If the business he bought doesn't turn around - quickly - his family doesn't eat. Rich is motivated. He's in a pretty deep hole. Joe just had to sell one of his businesses. He wasn't investing in it.  The business got pretty run down ... Like an old house that hasn't been maintained. Joe is on the tail end of his business life.  He's got the money he needs to finish this ride called life.  Joe doesn't have a very deep hole.   … [Read more...]

How much are you like a lab rat?

I had a theory 6-7 years ago. I still do. The theory is that we compulsively text message, instant message and Facebook (FB wasn't around at the time for adults)because they tap into our inner lab rat. These communication tools exploit our inner pleasure/reward system. With each ding, buzz or Like, we get a little burst of dopamine. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter released in response to things like cocaine, crack, sex, deep laughter, etc. Each response we received provides validation. … [Read more...]

Dictate the future

I asked the group to close their eyes.  I suggested they think about a day in the future (You can do this, too).  I guided them with some questions. "Go six months out.  Create a picture as vivid and real as possible.  What goals have you achieved?  What big wins are you celebrating?  What is happening on this day 6 months out that isn't happening today? What clients are you talking to?  What deals have you closed?  What have you created?  What's your business model?  What's happening with … [Read more...]

Who do you relate to?

The word relationship is built on the root:  relate.  So a relationship is based up how we relate to others. When you build relationships do you relate to the other person or do you relate to yourself while talking to another person? You can't meet someone where they are when you don't relate to them for who they are.   How do expect to sell them, support them, lead them or love them when you aren't even talking to them? Stop talking to yourself.   Build a relationship instead.  It will … [Read more...]

Like a moth to a flame.

I rushed to the lamp to turn it off.  I had heard a zap.  I smelled something burn.  I looked around.  I saw smoke waft from my lamp.  It was a 6 foot tall torchiere (Think a tall skinny lamp).  The lamp had a halogen bulb.  It burned white hot.  I tilted it so I could see what happened.  There is was.  A charred moth.  I turned the lamp back on.  The moth finished burning.  The smell went away.  Once and a while, I'd hear the zap.  I'd look for the plume of smoke.  I'd smirk and shake my head. … [Read more...]

How to stop finishing last

Nice is a four letter word.  When someone tells me I'm nice, I'm doing something wrong.  I'm not saying something that needs to be said.  Or I'm being a door mat and getting walked on.  I don't want to be a nice guy.  I'd rather be a good guy.  Nice is not a saving grace.  Good is. People seen as highly disagreeable make nearly $10,000 more per year than those seen as highly agreeable. Does that mean you need to become an ass to make more money?  No. It means you need to start adding … [Read more...]

Are you supposed to be here?

One of my favorite movies is Clerks.  It's clever, raw and funny.   There are two lead characters.  One writes his own rules for reality.  The other allows reality's rules to be written for him.  The second guy, Dante, keeps muttering "I'm not even supposed to here." through the movie.  He's torn between what he wants to do and what he feels he's supposed to do. I am most miserable when I think in 'Supposed to'   "I'm supposed to get a merit increase."  "They're supposed to refill my drink." … [Read more...]