Would you rather be needed or wanted?

The exercise started.  I was getting up to work the room.   A thought struck me.  "They don't need me."  I was hit with a sense of deflation.  It was a "What's the point?" moment.   I was at Boot Camp.   The irony, or hypocrisy, I'm working at a program built to help people find purpose and meaning.  And I'm struggling with my purpose and meaning.  We're human.  It happens. I spent a few moments looking at the situation.  The conversation with myself went like this:  "You're right.  They … [Read more...]

Find meaning and significance in life

The breeze blew firmly off the lake. We sat. The breeze brushing briskly in our faces. The hot sun bathing us from behind. Our church met at the Lake this weekend. We celebrated the lake's 100th anniversary. Andrew, our Pastor, started speaking. He suggested that we all want to have a life that was meaningful and significant. He was right ... at least to me. I want to have a life filled with meaning and significance. Sometimes I have it. I just finished another Boot Camp. I saw lives … [Read more...]

Stand still or step forward

Do you want to succeed?  Of course you do.  Who doesn't?  Even if you have a fear of success, somewhere inside whispers a voice that yearns for success.  I've tried to suffocate mine with a pillow.  But it keeps talking.  I've come to accept it.  Your definition of success might be different than mine.  You still have a definition of success.  You might as well pursue it. You will screw many things up on your way to succeeding.  If you don't, you probably won't be succeeding.  You might as … [Read more...]

Life is Long. Today is Short.

A  journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step. - Lao Tsu A thousand mile walk is about 1,800,000 steps.  Sounds like that would take forever.  I bet it goes by a lot quicker than we'd think.  It goes by one step at a time.  The time will go by whether you take the journey or not.  It all starts with a step. Life is the longest thing you will ever experience in this world.  It goes by quicker than we'd think.  It goes by one day at a time. I want to live the life of a lifetime.  I … [Read more...]

Be smart. Write better.

The screen flashed the report.  It told me that I write at a post-graduate level.  It compared my writing to insurance documents.  I was proud.  I scored high.  No one could follow a single 62 word sentence I wrote.  But the computer told me I was smart.  Truth was I was being dumb.  I made things overly complex to feel smarter. I remember teachers coming to ask me what a word I used meant.  They didn't know the word (It was "Reify").  I thought I was smart.  Truth was I was being dumb.  I … [Read more...]

Judge a book by it’s cover.

Peter* said to me, "You're courageous and enthusiastic.  Your energy inspired me.  I've accomplished things I wouldn't have started before."   We were performing an exercise providing others with evidence-based encouragement.  I was humbled.  I was honored.  I was confused. I didn't view myself as courageous and enthusiastic.  I didn't think of myself as inspiringly energetic.  I had hardly any interaction with Peter in our 7 weeks working together.   Yet I had this influence on him. Peter … [Read more...]

Leadership Larry David-style

I enjoy Curb Your Enthusiasm.  Some people don't.  I love how Larry David says what so many wouldn't.  Yes, it causes trouble sometimes.  But life has trouble sometimes.  Especially in business and relationships. I can spend hours, days or weeks coming up with right way to speak to a situation that's frustrating me.  It creates stress and anxiety for me.  While I'm trying to get things just right, the situation I want to address lingers on.  The longer I spend figuring out how to say what I … [Read more...]

You’ll never know unless you ask.

You're not so smart that you know all the answers.  Those people around you aren't as stupid as you think they are. I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him. -Galileo Galilei Start asking questions of those who work for you and around you.  Do the same with those people you live with.   They may surprise you, make you money, or make your life easier.  That would be nice.  Wouldn't it? You'll never know unless you ask...  (Right, Mom?) … [Read more...]

Give back, get more.

Last week I was speaking with my friend, Ben*.  He's a business owner who opened his doors a few weeks ago.  His business is built on high touch, face-to-face sales.  One of his employees asked him if she could start using the Internet and phones to sell.  This would be a BIG change to his business model.   He had many concerns.  Legitimate concerns about things like costs, closing ratios, and the like.  He was trying to come up with all of the answers himself. This happens a lot.  A manager … [Read more...]

I don’t get no respect … this maybe why.

Rodney Dangerfield made a pretty good living with his trademark line,  "I don't get no respect.".   He made millions.  He started successful businesses.  His influence launched the careers of several iconic stars.  Here's the funny thing:  many people treated him with no respect offstage. He gave them permission when he told them  that he didn't get respect (even though it was a character).  We give permission to others to do that to us, too. Respect is about helping someone maintain their … [Read more...]