"Well, what I would say is..." I caught myself. I groaned quietly. I thought to myself, what's it mean to say, "What I would say is..."? Of course you would say it. You're saying it! Why do we add it? Are we weakening what we're about to say because we don't want to commit? Are we showing deference or sensitivity to our listener? Are we avoiding conflict? "I'm not really saying this... but if I were to say something, this is what I'd say." I stopped. I … [Read more...]
What are you making believe?
July 26, 2012 by
A client turned around his shop's performance. He reshaped his team. He got them lined up with his plan and his vision. He did it in under 3 months. I asked him how he did it. "By making it believable." I asked him what he meant by that. He said, "people need to see before they believe. We're not where we need to be yet. I'm what they see". A team won't follow a leader unless the leader believes in where their team is going. People who lead others successfully make the … [Read more...]
Do you want something?
July 17, 2012 by
Yesterday I wrote about my mishaps and poor performance at my church's first open mic night. The stakes were low. The mistakes were high. My disappointment matched the mistakes. I was unprepared. I was uneasy. My friend asked me to do this open mic because they weren't sure they'd have enough performers. I got there. I saw no shortage of performers. I could have backed out. I didn't. I committed to my friend that I'd get up there. I also committed to myself. If we won't … [Read more...]
Do you want to be “One and done”?
July 16, 2012 by
I plugged the cable in. No sound. Nothing. Then I tried another cable. Again. Nothing. Thirty people were sitting around. Waiting. I took someone else's guitar. Plugged it in. It worked. I threw the strap around my neck. And stepped up to the microphone. 3 and half minutes flew by in the blink of an eternity. I got through the song. Barely. I was planning on singing two. I changed my mind. I strummed the last chord. Looked at the MC. And said, "That's good enough. … [Read more...]
Out of the eyes of babes
July 12, 2012 by
Jen walked out of the girl's room. Ellie in her arms. She just woke up. Her eyes swollen with sleep. I sat on the couch, typing away. Ellie looked at me for a glance. Then she stared at the laptop. It's a reflex. If we're looking at our phones, the girls look at our phones. TVs on, same thing. We're drawn to the glow of technology. Hypnotized. Flashing lights. Distraction. Detachment. It's our innate state. We think we're in control. We think we're choosing where … [Read more...]
Acting a part
July 10, 2012 by
Actors spend hours preparing. Learning lines. Committing to the words until they own them. Knowing their blocking (where they stand and when). They prepare for the risk. The big moment. When they step on stage. When they reveal themselves in real time. In front of many, hopefully. Trying to break a leg. Actors seek auditions. They look for opportunities to show their talent. They race rejection, frequently. When they get the part they invest their blood, spirit and soul … [Read more...]
Do you prefer it fast or slow?
June 30, 2012 by
To ask or not to ask? The prospect you won't call because she might reject you? You're rejecting them already with your avoidance. The girl you won't ask out. The book you won't start. The investor you won't pitch. Etc. Etc. Etc. One rejection is explicit and fast. The other is quiet and slow. One frees you to move on to what's next. The other keeps you circling a drain. Do you prefer it fast or slow? Related articles 4 Reasons You Can't Execute(inc.com) Do … [Read more...]
What are you addicted to?
June 29, 2012 by
"She's getting so big." A tear welled up in my eye. My girls aren't little babies anymore. They're turning into toddlers. With wills and tempers. They're starting to look like little people. And I'm sad. I'm a mourner. I look back and mourn what's passed. I could look forward and embrace what's coming. I'm learning to do that. But undoing decades of looking back takes longer than I'd like. It's hard to create what I want in the world, in my life and in my family when … [Read more...]
What are you avoiding?
June 28, 2012 by
I was reading the article. I wanted to stop. I was afraid. What if they reveal a theory I've been working on but haven't released to the world yet. I was afraid of being disappointed. In myself, for not getting the idea out soon enough. Avoiding the article wouldn't help though. If my idea was the same, I'd know someone else thought of it. I can shift directions with the idea. I can build on to what's already there. That's all the world of knowledge is any way. At some point … [Read more...]
Are you succeeding?
June 25, 2012 by
Roombas are robotic vacuum cleaners. The roll around the floor vacuuming your room while you're away. They are successful because they keep moving after they encounter an obstacle. They If they didn't do this, they'd just suck. They are successful because they succeed. Most ladders have many rungs. We succeed from rung to rung to make to the top of the ladder. The word "Succeed" is derived from the latin, succedere: to go up or follow after. I usually think about … [Read more...]
