Remembering a friend

    I lost a friend today.  I walked in to the gym this afternoon.  A placard was standing there.  It had his picture in it.  It  was him.  He lost a battle with cancer.  He'd fought for 3 years. I met him once, 3 years ago.  He came to my wedding.  I don't remember saying more than 5 words to him.   I remember his face.  It shone with joy and kindness. I was planning on writing about the frustration, anger and disappointment we create for ourselves when we live in … [Read more...]

Redefine accountability

Early in our marriage, Jen told me that she wanted the truth about everything.  I'd give her the truth.  She'd get angry and react.  I'd stop giving the truth.  She'd get angry and react. I told her that if she wanted me to be committed to revealing the truth, I needed her to be committed to not giving a negative reaction.   I'm human.  I will take the path of least resistance.  My wife being pissed at me is not that path.  Lying is. An account is defined as a report or description of an … [Read more...]

Live for what’s at stake

I love steak.  I wouldn't know I loved it if I hadn't ever smelled or tasted a steak.  I wouldn't love steak because I wouldn't know steak. Jen was telling me about a girl she's friendly with.  The friend comes off as aloof and distant.  Jen's learning that the girl thinks that people won't want to talk to her if she talks.  So she doesn't talk.  People think she's aloof and distant.   They don't talk to her.  She gets what she expects.  She doesn't get what she wants or needs. I'm that … [Read more...]

The Secret about Trust

Want to find out if you can trust someone? Trust them. You'll find out. Start off small. Build trust as they prove you right for trusting them in the first place. Related articles Improve Your Trust Building Odds (pt5.psychologytoday.com) Trust Issues at Work? Don't Be an Ostrich (leaderchat.org) … [Read more...]

How to build more powerful relationships.

Relationships.  I read a lot about relationships.  Apparently, they're important.  In sales, people prefer to buy from those they trust.  In leadership, people prefer to follow those they trust.  Trust requires a relationship. The root of the word relationship is relate.  The word 'relate' comes from a word that means "to bring".  Are you bringing yourself to your relationships? Relationships are built on the cornerstone of revelation.  We relate to what's revealed.  The more that is … [Read more...]

The Book of Revelation

This morning I told my life story to 5 men I'm friends with.  I revealed pieces of my past very few have seen.  I took a risk.  I told the truth.  It was an act of revelation. There is power in revelation.  We show who we are and who we've been.  We step from the shadow of shame into the light of liberation.  We go from hiding in our history to defying it.  We set our story free from swirling insecurities.    We step towards freedom.  We can start to author our future instead of repeating our … [Read more...]

“Like” is a four letter word

We live a "Like" button world.  It's easy to sell ourselves short when our likability is more important than our integrity.  Be careful what you do to be liked.  You might fall short. … [Read more...]

Here’s A High Value Proposition

Thirty years ago we had 1 hour of national news a day.   We had 3 stations to choose from.  We watched either Cronkite, Chancellor or Reasoner at 7pm (East Coast) on ABC, CBS, or NBC.  If you watched TV at 7pm, you were probably watching the news.  Nothing else was on. There was competition between the national news organizations at 7pm.  There weren't many outside competitive threats because the choice was news or news.  The competition that existed drove up quality.   The news outlets … [Read more...]

Is it time for new decision?

Tim made a discovery that can change his life.   It might change your life, too. Tim and his dad own a business together.  A prospect asked Tim's firm if they performed a type of planning service.   Tim thought they could meet the prospect's need.  Tim's father gave him a list of reasons why they couldn't. A life changing observation struck Tim.  "My dad always looks for excuses explaining why something won't work.  He taught me to do the same thing." Tim's a hard charger in many areas … [Read more...]

Bye-bye, Borders!

This morning I was reading about Borders Bookstore on Inc.com.  They are closing the book on Borders.  Their remaining 399 stores are closing their doors.  What happened?  They couldn't escape their own gravity. Borders evolved to be the Wal-mart of bookstores.  They delivered an expansive inventory that small shops couldn't compete with.  They had the same impact on mom and pop book shops that Wal-mart has had on small retailers.  The small shops died. The small shops couldn't compete on … [Read more...]