What will you find when you get there?

Get out through the in door or or get in through out door.   Either way, no matter where you are, there you are. Are you trying to get out of where you don't want to be?   Something will follow you.  You. You can't escape yourself. Most of the times we want to get out of something ... it turns out the something we want to get out of is ourselves. That new job won't make you any more valued.   That other guy (or girl) won't  make you any more lovable.  That pint of ice cream won't … [Read more...]

Out through the In Door

I was down in a depressive funk for the last few weeks.  It tends to happen each year as approach my birthday.  This year wasn't an exception.   I was walking in the morning.  Walking in the sunlight is a prescription for the funk.  As I walked I prayed.  I was asking for a way out.  I received an answer. "Stop looking for a way out.  Look for a way in." Looking for a way out isn't about finding something new.  It's about leaving something old.  You're not going anywhere.  You're … [Read more...]

You can have an impact. Will you?

I met Marshall last week.  I was working behind the coffee bar at church.  Out of the busyness of barista-ing, I heard Marshall say, "Excuse me, sir.  I had an accident."  I stopped what I was doing.  I came out from the bar.  Marshall spilled some coffee.  It wasn't a big deal.  Not much of a mess.  He wanted to clean up his own mess.  I saw embarrassment on his face.  We cleaned up his mess together. I sat Marshall in a chair in our common area.  He sat with me in a half sweated through … [Read more...]

Life is beautiful

My friend Mike invited me to play bocce ball.   It was a blast.  It was relaxing.  It was fun.  It was competitive.  After we played we were emailing about how enjoyable it was.  He had this to say. "Playing bocce with the Italians is pretty symbolic of life to me.  You spend your life trying to get as close to a goal as you can… sometimes you get close and other times something in life comes along and knocks you away from your target and you have to refocus and find a new strategy… or … [Read more...]

Where do you belong?

I played bocce ball for the first time last week.  It's hosted by the Italian Club of Dallas (Yes, there is one!).  It was a blast.  I learned a lot about life that night. We played at a country club.  Somehow someone convinced a country club in Texas to convert their clay tennis courts to bocce ball courts.  That's influence! We were playing with one of the members of the club.  At some point, he asked if I was a member.  I said no.  He said, "We need to change that." So often we ask … [Read more...]

Road to nowhere

I drove this morning.  There's a good chance that you did, too.  Did you drive on a road?  Yeah, me too.  The roads I drove on have been around for several decades.  I don't know when they were built.  I'm pretty sure someone built them.  I didn't pay for the roads to be built.  But I'm pretty sure that someone did.   Life would be really different if they weren't built.  Businesses would have a hard time making money.  People would have a hard time getting to work.  There's a pretty valuable … [Read more...]

Remembering a friend

    I lost a friend today.  I walked in to the gym this afternoon.  A placard was standing there.  It had his picture in it.  It  was him.  He lost a battle with cancer.  He'd fought for 3 years. I met him once, 3 years ago.  He came to my wedding.  I don't remember saying more than 5 words to him.   I remember his face.  It shone with joy and kindness. I was planning on writing about the frustration, anger and disappointment we create for ourselves when we live in … [Read more...]

Redefine accountability

Early in our marriage, Jen told me that she wanted the truth about everything.  I'd give her the truth.  She'd get angry and react.  I'd stop giving the truth.  She'd get angry and react. I told her that if she wanted me to be committed to revealing the truth, I needed her to be committed to not giving a negative reaction.   I'm human.  I will take the path of least resistance.  My wife being pissed at me is not that path.  Lying is. An account is defined as a report or description of an … [Read more...]

Live for what’s at stake

I love steak.  I wouldn't know I loved it if I hadn't ever smelled or tasted a steak.  I wouldn't love steak because I wouldn't know steak. Jen was telling me about a girl she's friendly with.  The friend comes off as aloof and distant.  Jen's learning that the girl thinks that people won't want to talk to her if she talks.  So she doesn't talk.  People think she's aloof and distant.   They don't talk to her.  She gets what she expects.  She doesn't get what she wants or needs. I'm that … [Read more...]

The Secret about Trust

Want to find out if you can trust someone? Trust them. You'll find out. Start off small. Build trust as they prove you right for trusting them in the first place. Related articles Improve Your Trust Building Odds (pt5.psychologytoday.com) Trust Issues at Work? Don't Be an Ostrich (leaderchat.org) … [Read more...]