What Do You Have Time To Do? 4 Questions to Ask Yourself

  We don't seem to have the time to do a lot of things.  Things like exercise, cooking healthily, calling our parents, brothers, sisters and friends, reading great books or magazines, driving without distraction (as we text some ridiculously unimportant message). We do seem to have time to do a lot of other things, though.  Things like Facebook, Twitter, reality TV, e-mail, long showers, visiting newyorkjets.com, miamihurricanes.com, tmz.com or working long hours with no specific … [Read more...]

One question to get the most use from your stress

  Studies show that bad stress causes harmful reactions in us.  It literally kills us slowly.  A key distinction between good stress (Eustress) and bad stress (distress) is whether we see ourselves as capable of exerting ourselves on our situation to affect it. When we focus on what can't do, we create bad stress and get stuck.  When we focus on what we can do, we create new options through or around our challenges.  We look at what we can control.    We cultivate good stress. … [Read more...]

Two Simple Steps to Move Closer to your goals

  An object that's a rest tends to stay at rest.  An object in motion will continue along the same course unless another force redirects it. It's a law of physics.  It's also a law of life.  Change your words, change your mind I've been at rest for several months.  I've talked about how I need to exercise.  And I need to write.  I haven't done either.  I realized last night that I was speaking in 'Need to'.  I immediately changed my language.  I moved to 'want to'. We put the … [Read more...]

Could you use a cold shower?

The bookthrew down a challenge.  Imagine turning on the shower.  Only the cold water.  No hot at all.  Now, imagine you jump into the shower.  Did you cringe at the thought?  Good.  Now do it.  For 5 days in a row.  That was the challenge Julien Smith tossed my way. I threw the water on.  I waited.  And waited.  I stood there avoiding.   I sheepishly crept in.  I lasted 30 seconds.  I put the hot water on.  I fought the "the flinch" to get in the shower.   I didn't fight through it to … [Read more...]

How do you do better?

Robby said, "I used to have those reference documents taped all over my work space.  It helped me a lot."   I looked that the document I needed.  It was open in MS Word.  I looked at Robby and said, "Yeah, I really need to print this."  And then I sat there.  Without printing it. Anytime I say "I need to" do something I can be assured of one thing.  I'm not going to do it. I looked at Robby, catching what I just did.  I laughed about it.  I had everything I needed to meet my need. … [Read more...]

How amazing is your grace?

Familiarity breeds contempt. Spend more time with someone and you'll get jaded.  You'll  take things for granted, and get angry over smaller things.  Hot buttons will emerge.  They'll be easier to punch as time goes on. This is probably why marriage can be so hard. It's easier to forgive the waitress who screwed up your food order than it is the wife who forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste ... again. Grace doesn't dwell well in a world of presumed outcomes. We force grace out of … [Read more...]

Reach out and touch someone

  More people are watching porn than ever before. A recent poll showed that 79% of people are consuming porn nowadays. It was in the 30% range in 1983. The studies also show people are having less sex. They are masturbating more. We are a lazy species. We will do the thing that costs us the least. Contact and direct interaction are expensive. They require real-time emotional engagement. They require processing of non-verbal nuance. They require empathy and awareness. This is one … [Read more...]

Where do you pledge your allegiance?

I just finished the history of the Pledge of Allegiance.  There were some interesting facts.  Some I knew. Others were new (to me).  I learned a few things. Here's what learned: the pledge was written by socialist it was written over a century after the Constitution was ratified, in 1892 it was written as a marketing campaign part of a flag giveaway promotion to increase magazine sales for The Youth's Companion it did not include any reference to God Under God was added in … [Read more...]

How nourishing is your life?

Ellie, the younger twin, was fighting the bottle.  She'd take the nipple.  Chew and suck.  Then spit out milk and pout.  It was frustrating. Jen took her.  Ten minutes later the bottle was emptied.  I asked Jen what she did to make Ellie eat.  She told me.  I barely believed her.  She did it again the next time.  It worked.  And it still does. Jen encouraged Ellie.  She'd tell her in a sweet voice how good she was being and what a good little eater she was.  Ellie ate.  No … [Read more...]

How are you preparing for the parade?

We looked at each other.  The babies crying in the background.  "Should we respond?" We created a routine to help the babies learn to sleep.  Sometimes that meant letting them cry for a few minutes.  It was hard.  Very hard. On Christmas Eve, we woke up.  The babies slept through the night.  9 weeks old (5 weeks based on full term).  Mission accomplished! I'd mention we wanted the babies to sleep through the night as our Christmas present.  People would scoff at me.  They told me I … [Read more...]